Examples of Email Forwards
All examples of folklore have not been altered except for html coding. Any misspellings or grammatical errors are part of the products themselves.
How old are you?
> * The people who are starting college this fall across the nation
were born in 1980.
> * They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan era.
> * They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.
> * Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression.
> * Their world has always included AIDS.
> * Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums and cassette
audiotapes; they may have heard of an 8-track, but probably never actually seen (or heard) one.
> * The digital Disc was presented to Wall street when they were 1 year old.
> * From their earliest years, a camera was something you used once and threw away.
> * As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 32 cents.
> * Few, if any, have lived without an answering machine.
> * Few have used a TV set with only 13 channels.
> * Some use the word "clickers" for "remote control", yet they do not know way they say it.
> * They were born the year that Walkmen were introduced by Sony
> * The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.
> You're Probably Aged 25 to 35 If...
> * You wore anything Izod, especially those windbreakers that folded up into a pouch you could wear around your waist.
> * You owned a Jordache anything, or you remember when Jordache jeans were cool.
> * You remember LeFreak by Chic
> * In your sophomore class picture, you're wearing an Izod shirt with the collar "up."
> * "All-skate, change directions" means something to you.
> * In high school, you and all your friends discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the end of the century and play "1999" by Prince over and over again.
> * You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you in the "tail gunner" position.
> * Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language.
> * You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran, Madonna, Rick Springfield, or Cyndi Lauper video.
> * You actually know who Rick Springfield is.
> * You're starting to believe (now that it wouldn't affect YOU) that maybe having the kids go to school year-round wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.
> * You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon
> * Bo and Luke Duke.
> * There was nothing strange about Bert n' Ernie living together.
> * Knickers and leg warmers were cool
> * You learned to swim about the same time Jaws came out and still carry the emotional scars to this day.
> * You ever wanted to learn to play "Stairway to Heaven" on the guitar and choreographed "Dancing Queen" by yourself in your room.
> * You were afraid of the Sleestaks on Land of the Lost.
> * The first time you ever kissed someone was at a dance during "Crazy for You" by Madonna.
> * You ever used the phrase "kiss mah grits" in conversation.
> * You had ringside seats for Luke and Laura's wedding
> * You know who shot J.R.
> * This rings a bell: "and my name, is Charlie. They work for me."
> * You ever had a Dorothy Hammill haircut
> * You sat with your friends on a Friday night and dialed "8-6-7-5-3-0-9" to see if Jenny would answer.
> * You owned a pair of Rainbow suspenders just like Mork used to wear.
> * You remember when your cable TV box had the three rows of numbers and you had to move the selector switch accordingly. > * You could sing "99 Red Balloons" in English and in German.
> * Feathered hair
> * Your jaw would ache by the time you finished those "brick-sized" packages of Bazooka gum.
> * The phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter.
These next two e-mail forwards would be considered typical "Folklore from the paperwork empire" by Dundes and Pagter
>> > > A good explanation of politics!!!
>> > >POLITICS! That's all we seem to hear about...
>> > > This little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says,
>> > > "Well son, let me try to explain by giving you examples:
>> > > I'm the breadwinner of the family and I concentrate on making enough money
>> > > for everything we want, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money,
>> > trying to be sure it's used carefully, so we'll call her the Government.
>> > > We both try to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People.
>> > > >> > > The nanny performs a specific job, so we'll
consider her the Working Class.
>> > > And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future.
>> > > Now, think about how all of us get along together and see if that makes
>> > > sense."
>> > > Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to
>> > > on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the
>> > > little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep.
>> > > Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nany's room. Finding the door
>> > > locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
>> > > He gives up and goes back to bed.
>> > > >> > > The next morning, the little boy says to his
father, "Dad, I think I
>> > > understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, son,
>> > > tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about".
>> > > The little boy replies,"Well, while Capitalism is screwing the
>> > > Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and
>> > > the Future is in Deep Shit."
>Subject: 9 types of girlfriends
>1. Ms. Nice Gal - "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh darling, you shouldn't
>Also Known As: What a Girl, Precious, One of the Boys, Doormat
>Advantages: Cheerful, Agreeable, Kindly
>Disadvantages: May wise up someday.
> >2. Old Yeller - "You spineless good-for-nothing no-talent SOB! Can't you
see you're making me miserable?"
>Also Known As: She-Devil, Sourpuss, The Nag, My Old Lady
>Advantages: Pays attention to you.
>Disadvantages: Screeches, Throws frying pans
> >3. Sickly - "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps."
>Also Known As: Whiner, Mewler, Grumpy
> >4. The Boss - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut.
Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look."
>Also Known As: Whipcracker, Sergeant, Ms. Know-it-All, Ball and Chain
>Advantages: Often right
>Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?
> >5. Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - "I just can't decide. Should I switch my
>career, goals, home, or hair color?"
>Also Known As: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw C'mon Honey
>Advantages: Easily soothed
>Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed
> >6. Wild Woman - "I've got an idea. Let's get drunk and make love on the
>front lawn. I done it before. It's fun!"
>Also Known As: Fast Girl, Freewheeler, Unconscious
>Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys.
>Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs
> >7. Huffy - "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep
>Also Known As: No Fun, Humorless, Cold Fish, Iceberg,
>Snarly Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you.
>Disadvantages: You will have no friends.
> >8. Woman from Mars - "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how
I feel about our relationship"
>Also Known As: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic
>Unfathomable Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud.
> >9. Ms. Dreamgirl - "I am utterly content with you just the way you are,
>my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I want to make love to you like a >crazed
>Also Known As: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, The One
>Advantages: Funny, Intelligent, Uninhibited
>Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you.
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